Spaceballs: The Book by Jovial Bob Stine Based on the screenplay by Mel Brooks, Thomas Meehan, and Ronny Graham Scholastic, 1987 Price I paid: $12.67 in Amazon gift credit
Spaceballs, the nastiest beings in the universe, have decided to kidnap the beautiful Princess Vespa. But she’s already run off from her wedding and is speeding away in a Mercedes space coupe, accompanied by her robot, Dot Matrix. Meanwhile, our hero, Lone Starr, threatened by terrible Pizza the Hutt, is flying his Winnebago as far away as possible.
Will the wicked Spaceballs, led by dreadful Dark Helmet and Colonel Sandurz, seize the princess? Or will Lone Starr and his friends save the Princess from a fate worse than death!? Don’t miss Spaceballs: The Book!
The Gods Hate Kansas by Joseph Millard Monarch Books, 1964 Price I paid: this is my third Interlibrary Loan book in a row
It began with the landing of nine meteors in Kansas. Then, suddenly, it exploded into a massive catastrophe.
First, the meteorite investigating team were turned into automatons, ruled by an unknown, alien intelligence. They barricaded themselves from the world and began building a rocket project, aimed at traversing the stars.
Then, the Crimson Plague struck, sweeping over Earth’s population, destroying human capacities and defying scientific probing.
Only a few escaped the invasion from outer space, among them astrophysicist Curt Temple, whose girl friend, Lee Mason, was enslaved, her personality changed.
Curt knew he had to pit his slim knowledge against the most perfect intelligence in the cosmos to save the world—and the woman he loved.
I Speak for Earth by Keith Woodcott Ace Books, 1961 Price I paid: none
“One citizen of your planet shall go to the capital of the Federation of Worlds. He shall live there for thirty days. If your representative can survive and demonstrate the ability to exist in a civilized society with creatures whose outward appearance and manner of thinking differ from his own, you shall pass the test. You will be permitted to send your starships to other planets of the galaxy.
If he fails the test, if prejudice, fear, intolerance, or stupidity trip him up, then your world will be sealed off from the stars forever!”
This was the ultimatum from space. The task before our world then was—who shall go? What man or woman could be found to take this frightening test for the whole of humanity and be certain not to fail?
It’s an edge-of-the-seat science-fiction thriller.
Wandl the Invader by Ray Cummings Ace Books, 1961 Originally published in Astounding Stories, 1932 Price I paid: none
There were nine major planets in the Solar System and it was within their boundaries that man first set up interplanetary commerce and began trading with the ancient Martian civilization. And then they discovered a tenth planet—a maverick!
This tenth world, if it had an orbit, had a strange one, for it was heading inwards from interstellar space, heading close to the Earth-Mars spaceways, upsetting astronautic calculations and raising turmoil on the two inhabited worlds.
But even so none suspected then just how much trouble this new world would make. For it was WANDL THE INVADER and it was no barren planetoid. It was a manned world, manned by minds and monsters and traveling into our system with a purpose beyond that of astronomical accident!
It’s a terrific novel from the classic days of great science-fiction adventure—now first published in book form.
Gremlins 2: The New Batch by David Bischoff based on the screenplay written by Charlie Haas Avon Books, 1990 Price I paid: 90¢
KEEP AWAY FROM BRIGHT LIGHT,
AWAY FROM WATER—
FEED THEM AFTER MIDNIGHT!
Who would have thought that within every playful, cuddly Mogwai there lurked a gleefully, malevolent gremlin? Billy Peltzer and his girlfriend Kate Beringer found out the hard way—and it nearly destroyed their hometown of Kingston Falls. Now the young lovers have come to New York to seek their fortunes. But the towering, high-tech office building in which they work is about to become a breeding ground for a whole new batch of deliciously malicious creatures.
Start spreading the news. The gremlins—lots of them—have come to take Manhattan…and they’re itching to comically paint the Big Apple gremlin green!
“Impostor” by Philip K. Dick from The Metal Smile, ed. Damon Knight Belmont Science Fiction, 1968 Originally published in Astounding Science Fiction, June 1953 Price I paid: none
“DO NOT FOLD, BEND, OR MUTILATE”
marked the beginning of our cybernetic society. How will it end?
The varied answers to that question have proved to be fertile ground for some of the greatest science fiction imaginations. But perhaps we shouldn’t look too closely into the future of cybernetics. It may be that the survival capacity of the thinking machine is greater than that of its maker…
Hey all, I know that I’m a giant bummer joykiller, but I’m gonna be on the road for the holidays and I don’t really have the time to present you with a proper post this week, so I’m coppin’ out and throwin’ the whole schedule out of whack.
Just so you didn’t come all this way for nothing, here are some micro-reviews of stuff I’ve read this year:
Lurid Dreams by Charles L. Harness Avon Books, 1990 Price I paid: 90¢
Though basically a skeptic, William Reynolds had known out-of-body experiences in the past. But never before had he floated past the boundaries of Baltimore…and across the borders of time. And now, with the fires of Civil War looming on the horizon, the astonished graduate student was hobnobbing with none other than the dark poet Edgar Allen Poe. But their meeting of minds was to have chilling consequences. For a desperate Confederacy planned to use them both to remold the world—and to change history…for the worse.
The Time Machine Did It by John Swartzwelder
Kennydale Books, 2002
Price I paid: It was a birthday present
I probably should have realized a lot earlier that this book doesn’t have any back matter. No cover matter at all, in fact. Not even artwork. That’s okay. I’ll get into that in a minute. I just felt like something needed to go in this space.